Our Counselor

• Teach classroom counseling lessons
• Decision making, character values, problem solving, career counseling, conflict resolution and friendships
• Facilitate short-term small group counseling
• Provide immediate and short-term individual counseling
• Help students recognize and maximize on talents and abilities
• Support during crisis
• Divorce, abuse, bullying, being new to the school, responsibility, death, moving, drugs, etc.
• Work collaboratively with teachers and staff
• Assist students in learning about performance related opportunities
• Identify and implement interventions to enhance student success
• Consult with parents
• Parenting help!
  • This might be sleep scheduling, motivation, goal setting, or help with resolving family problems
• Provide and find assistance during times of need
• Helping with attendance concerns
• Provide information and/or referrals for community resources to families
• Promote a positive attitude among students towards self, family, peers, teachers, and community

Research shows us children look to parents and caregivers for advice and help on tough choices.  Spending a few minutes every day can reassure kids that their parents are there if they have a problem. Remember your child is operating in two very different worlds, their home world and their school world! For part of the day they are responsible for themselves. They make choices and have friends and have to use a lot of complex, critical thinking to do it! Then suddenly, they are back in your home with a parent to rely on!

• Start by talking about your day! By doing this you’re modeling story telling AND great conversation skills! They also get to hear about what adult life is like and hear how you navigate your choices!
• I typically ask questions like, “What was the coolest thing that happened today?” or “What was the worst thing that happened today?” By asking for specific events, they learn to identify key points of their day and will be able to communicate better in the future!
• Kids tend to talk more openly when there is no direct eye contact. Ask them about some of these things when driving! With your eyes on the road they may be more comfortable opening up! Plus a driving parent tends to listen more which creates a better tone for active listening and real communication.
• Remember to keep conversations driven toward their interests!

What do kids like to talk about?

• Kindergarten and 1st Grade Communication
  • ​Young children typically enjoy talking about school subjects, new friendships, or concrete experiences. When they tell you a story, help them to label emotions and identify feelings during the conversations.  Talk about frustrations and situations they may have encountered through their day.  Be supportive! It may seem small to you but that is the chosen highlight of their day to them!
• 2nd and 3rd Grade Communication
  • Friendships become increasingly important.  They may prefer to talk about relationships with peers rather than homework.  Avoid closed questions (things that result in one-word answers) and use open questions such as, “You have a new friend at school! Tell me about what you like to do at recess!”
• 4th and 5th Grade Communication
  • ​Many kids in this age group begin to really enjoy humor.  They love to chat in general. They enjoy working in groups with other kids.  Expect arguments, this is normal! They are developing their own ideas, sense of fairness and right and wrong.  This can lead to lively debates and discussions.  Your child is getting better at abstract thinking and problem solving.  They typically enjoy rules, logic, collecting, classifying, and organizing.  Give ongoing encouragement and reinforcement for EFFORT AND RESULT!

Mental Health Check-ins:

• Ask your child how they are feeling and listen with genuine interest.
  • Try not to enter what I call “Fix it Mode.” This is where you may feel compelled to fix your child’s problems they share.  Instead, help them to problem solve the answer.  This year we will be working on problem solving skills steps, encourage full, thought out problem solving where they arrive at their own answers.
• Have a family meeting where you can talk to your kids about their worries, fears and excitement. Understanding their perspective and feelings towards the change is a critical element when creating your family’s plan!
• Proactively check in on your child’s mental health.
  • Look for signs of isolation, irritability, low mood, difficulty sleeping, lack of motivation, lack of enjoyment in normal activities, or concerns about safety.
  • If you notice one of these things check in with your school’s counselor, pediatrician, or another provider to see if there is something that needs treatment or just knowing that what your child is going through is a normal reaction to the current stressors.
• What are they looking forward to the most? What are they not? What might the adults around them do to make it a more comfortable transition?
• Give them a safe space to communicate their thoughts, develop their own feelings, and share what’s on their minds. You might find that their fears and your fears are different! That’s okay! Hear each other and discuss how to make it better!

Communication stoppers happen, especially with kids.  It is important to know how to navigate around them! 

Embarrassment:

• Once your child is about 6 or 7 they will be aware that you’re paying attention to how they are doing academically and socially.  The feeling of judgement can be a barrier to great communication.
  • Try to play a game or read together and see what topics come up.  Talking about something that was hard will be much easier when they are feeling close to you. 
  • Don’t judge when they do talk, if they feel as though they aren’t safe they will stop sharing.
  • Go for a walk and chat! The exercise will help everyone’s body and mind feel better and it is a great distraction.
  • Don’t stare at them when they talk.  While adults tend to favor eye contact, typically kids prefer to go without it. 

Memory:

How many times have you asked your child what happened during their day and they say, “uhhhhhh, I can’t remember!”  Guess what! They may be telling you the truth!   Thankfully, there are some things that we can do as grown ups to help build these memory skills!

• Working memory is what we use for temporary storage and manipulation of data.  Children have a limited ability to remember their day!  This gets better as they age, some faster than others.
  • Be aware of what’s going on in your child’s class so that you can ask specific questions related to their day.  Asking things about their day, even when you know the answer, helps teach them to tell a story!
  • Keep in mind that your child may not have the emotional language to tell you how they are feeling.  Sometimes this might show as action because they can’t identify the emotion. 
  • Help build their emotional vocabulary by using words that identify feelings like frustrated, worried, excited, angry, scared, nervous, or tired when you hear them express the action! (Your child may be telling you a story and say “And then I threw my books on the ground and told him if I wasn’t his friend I wasn’t going to be anyone’s friend” – you might respond with “Wow! It sounds like you were really angry with your friend!”

• Children may feel nervous about contracting and spreading Covid-19 at school.
  • Reassure them that safety protocols are in place for their protection.
  • Empower them to use their own safety protocols such as hand-washing, mask wearing, and social distancing.
  • Remind them that their school will constantly be gathering and evaluating data to make the best choice to keep as many safe as possible.
  • Have them practice positive self-talk. (“I know I’m worried I will get sick, but I also know I’ll be wearing a mask and keeping distance from other kids, so I am doing what I need to keep myself healthy.”
  • Have them practice deep breathing techniques.  Inhale deeply through the nose for about 4 to 5 seconds, then hold that breath for about 7 seconds, then exhale slowly through the mouth for about 8 seconds.  (I usually teach this to them as sniff a rose…… think about your favorite color….. blow out birthday candles so that they remember in through the nose, out through the mouth)
• Children may feel worried about catching COVID and bringing it home to loved ones.
  • Don’t stigmatize or tease anyone about being sick.  Removing some of the stigma eases some of the fear of catching it.
  • Remind children to let an adult know when they are feeling sick. Remind them this is part of keeping themselves and everyone they encounter each day safe!
• Children may feel frustrated by a lack of clarity in plans
  • Finding a small group for preferred activities or a small group of trusted friends with similar interests could alleviate some of this stress by providing guaranteed activities they enjoy.
  • Explaining changes to children can help them to understand and feel more in control of their life.
• Frustration with changes in typical classroom or school procedures
  • This is a big transition and things will not change back over night.  Academics and social aspects of your child’s life may look different.  Everyone’s routines may look different than they did before.  Mealtimes and sleep cycles may change. The best thing you and your family can do is set realistic expectations and anticipate that the new routines might take some time.
  • Be present and consistent as a parent.  Be predictable, you may be the only thing that feels that way right now.  Be their leader.  If your child’s reactions seem different, maybe bigger or like they are overreacting, the best thing you can do is meet them with compassion and calm.
• Parents may feel worried about their children being able to practice safety protocols
  • If you choose to have your child wear a mask, practice how to wear a mask for extended amounts of time so that they are used to the feeling.
  • Model behavior that you would like to encourage in your child! Remember your children are always learning from you! Kids repeat what they hear and imitate what they see!
  • Teach your children about spreading of germs! Education is important!
  • Make sure not to over explain or scare your child into washing their hands or looking out for germs.  You want a good hygiene routine that will be healthy in the long run! Germs are the bad guys but they are not to be feared because our bodies are the superheroes!
  • Show them how a sneeze travels.  Use a spray bottle full of colored water. Place a few pieces of white paper in front of you and show how far the spray can travel! Then remind them to sneeze and cough into their elbows or a tissue.
  • You might make model germs using Play-dough and Q-tips and then leave the models near the common sinks in the home to remind them to wash their hands and brush their teeth when they see the germ!
  • Watching a video with magnified germs can be a great way to let kids see what is going on inside their bodies!
  • Potato Experiment- Peel a raw potato and cut it in two pieces. Pass one half to the child with unwashed hands.  Have them pass it hand to hand and back and forth with dirty hands.  Place the potato in a clear plastic sandwich bag. Then have them do the same thing with washed hands.  Place both potato halves in separate bags for a week in a dark closet at room temperature.  After a week, look at the potatoes (don’t take them out) and discuss the pieces with your child.  Which has the most growth and why?
• Parents should develop a relationship with your child’s teacher as soon as possible. Communicate the worries and concern that your child shared during your family discussion.  Even students with high academic performance may suddenly struggle, this is a big change that we will work through together!
  • Great communication with teachers and school staff can be an asset here! Keep yourself informed of latest area trends and remember to practice positive self-talk yourself!
  • Keep materials that you’ve used for online schooling handy! If you need them, you’ll be relieved to know exactly where they all are! You have done this before and we believe in your ability!